Thursday, May 19, 2011

My Story



Last night I shared the story of my life with our youth group. Okay, not absolutely everything in my life cause that would have taken way too long, but I did hit the most important parts, some of which are not easy to talk about, but it was something I knew I needed to do and something that I felt honored to do. My prayer leading up to last night was that the kids who needed to hear my story would be here. Some of our weeks are really hit and miss as far as who is here but last night everyone was here. Trust God to have a sense of humor! Speaking in front of a group is not something I am really comfortable with but these are 'my kids' which made it easier. It was a good night. There were many tears shed, most of which were mine but there were others as well and I saw God answering another prayer in that I wanted to bring Him glory and help the kids understand that God never promised us we wouldn't go through tough things but He did promise us that when we go through tough times He will walk through them with us. I have most definitely learned that and I am so thankful for it!


It was a good experience for me but I will admit that I am glad it's over! I could sense though that as I spoke it broke some walls that may have been there between the kids and I as they realized that I have been through hurts and trials and so I do understand where some of them are coming from. Being so raw and real in front of them was something that I think needed to happen. I have the feeling though that now that I have shared it with them I may be called upon in other circumstances to tell it again. I am okay with that. It is a story of trauma and hurt but more than that it is a story of God's amazing faithfulness and love and healing. I serve an amazing God and know I couldn't do live without Him!


Here is a song I shared with the kids at the end of it all that kind of sums everything up perfectly.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Update and Stuff



The day that I tend to dread is almost over. I love acknowledging my Mom and the amazing woman and mother that she is but this day is an in the face reminder every year that our family hasn't grown yet. I had a cry and talk with God last night while I was in the bathtub. Seems like my washroom is most definitely my prayer closet! I complained some and just asked Him to help me be strong and to trust and have hope and all of that. As I was finishing praying I had some verses come to mind.....


"You will keep him in perfect PEACE whose mind is stayed on You."


"For the Lord God is a sun and shield, He gives grace and glory, no GOOD THING will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future."


The things I was praying for and asking Him about He reminded me through scripture are mine and they are what He wants for me too. Of course I have to do my part and trust and walk uprightly and keep my heart and mind stayed on the Lord and being true to Him. I am certainly learning alot through all of this! 


Chad knew today was going to be hard for me and he did the best thing he could have done this morning, asked me how I was and then hugged me as I cried a few tears. I am so incredibly blessed by that man!


I do have an update! I heard from the agency last week and we are now at #27 with 3 birthmoms who hadn't yet seen profiles. Encouraging! We moved up 3 spots in a month and should move up again right away.


Maybe next year I will be excited for this day...