I Still Believe

It has been 5 years this month since Chad and I started trying to add to our family. It was tough to see this last year come and go and still have nothing happen. Of course we are hoping and praying that this year holds beautiful news and that our arms and heart will be filled! I struggled a little bit this month and was tempted to start asking the 'why?' questions. Every time that happens though I think about a quote I once heard about us not having the right to ask why every time sorrow comes our way unless we also ask why for every joy that comes our way. What makes us think and feel as though we do or don't 'deserve' something? Why do we think we 'deserve' good things but not bad? If everything were giggles and sunshine all of the time we would never grow or learn or be able to empathize with others.


God is so very good at giving me reminders and showing me things and I am so thankful that I am aware enough to catch them. I am sure there are many that go by without me seeing them but it seems as though lately there has been so much come my way that just helps me know God is there and knows exactly what is going on. In all of this waiting for a baby the question that comes up over and over again is 'when'? When will it happen? I had a great reminder on the weekend of God's perfect timing...


My Gramma ended up in the hospital in September and never did move back to her apartment as she isn't well enough to be independent anymore. She was in the hospital for quite some time and then in a temporary nursing home. My parents have been driving into the city to be with her. Every day for 4 months one or the other or both of them were driving into the city to see her. That means a 40 minute trip one way, every day, for 4 months. We have been blessed with an amazing winter and they didn't have to put up with winter driving, which was a huge blessing! This past Friday Gramma was finally moved to her brand new nursing home that is only 15 minutes from my parents' house and what happened on Saturday? It snowed and the temperatures plummeted and winter is now most definitely here! Some people may say it is just a coincidence but when it comes to God and His timing there is no such thing as coincidence! It was such a great reminder to me that God really does know what He is doing and even though it seems as though He is slow or that He has forgotten we need to remember that He knows exactly what is going on. He is orchestrating everything behind the scenes and we just need to continue to trust.


So as I wait (and some days the waiting is so hard it hurts) I will try to remember that God truly does know what He is doing and that He hasn't forgotten and that His timing is perfect. 


And as I wait I will choose to still believe...

Thought for the Day

Finlay and I just got back from taking our daily walk. I so enjoy our walks and spend time thinking or praying or listening to music or all of the above at once. This was my thought for today - but first let me give you some details - 
For those of you not in Edmonton I will let you know that our winter has been very strange. We have had very little snow, most of which has melted, we have had many days where the temperature has been above freezing and we have even had rain. Usually we have a lot more snow than we do now and it is much colder. I am not complaining mind you, it is much easier to get through a winter like this (although I know at any time we could get a huge dump of snow and be very cold). It makes it so nice for going for walks except for one thing, ICE. With our little bit of snow melting and then rain and then freezing again it makes for some rather treacherous ice patches on sidewalks and paths. As I was walking along today these thoughts came to mind...
I was thinking about how so often we go through life without a care in the world but with our eyes still taking in our periphery, watching for dangers or things out of place (like keeping an eye on Finlay to make sure he doesn't eat something he shouldn't) when up ahead we see an icy patch. I don't have a very good history with ice. I have fallen and hurt myself and so probably look a little funny when I am walking on it as I so don't want to fall again. When we get to those icy patches on the road what do we do? Do we approach with caution and carefully walk our way through, paying attention and so getting to the other side safely? Or do we throw caution to the wind and rush ahead and perhaps fall flat? Do we say a little prayer that we get to the other side safely or do we think we can just do it on our own? I know there are gaps in this little analogy because there are so many different ways of approaching the ice but the point is - are we really paying attention to the road we are on? When and if we do stumble and fall do we pick ourselves up and use a little more caution the next time or do we forget about the lessons learned and forge on again or do we even lay there and blame the ice for making us fall?
I am so thankful that as I walk this road God has me on that He is walking with me. I am so thankful that when I get to those icy patches I can ask Him to get me through safely and I know He will answer. There may be times when I stumble and fall but through all of that God is still there and, as long as I am looking to Him, He doesn't let me stay fallen but He lifts me up and encourages me to keep on.
I had a Bible verse/song come to mind as I was thinking about this that I haven't sung in years and I will end my little 'thought for the day' with it.

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; 

and he delighteth in his way.

Though he stumble though he fall he will not be cast down 

for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand.

With His hand, with His hand, for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand.

Though he stumble though he fall he will not be cast down 

for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand."

Psalm 37:23-24