I Still Believe

It has been 5 years this month since Chad and I started trying to add to our family. It was tough to see this last year come and go and still have nothing happen. Of course we are hoping and praying that this year holds beautiful news and that our arms and heart will be filled! I struggled a little bit this month and was tempted to start asking the 'why?' questions. Every time that happens though I think about a quote I once heard about us not having the right to ask why every time sorrow comes our way unless we also ask why for every joy that comes our way. What makes us think and feel as though we do or don't 'deserve' something? Why do we think we 'deserve' good things but not bad? If everything were giggles and sunshine all of the time we would never grow or learn or be able to empathize with others.


God is so very good at giving me reminders and showing me things and I am so thankful that I am aware enough to catch them. I am sure there are many that go by without me seeing them but it seems as though lately there has been so much come my way that just helps me know God is there and knows exactly what is going on. In all of this waiting for a baby the question that comes up over and over again is 'when'? When will it happen? I had a great reminder on the weekend of God's perfect timing...


My Gramma ended up in the hospital in September and never did move back to her apartment as she isn't well enough to be independent anymore. She was in the hospital for quite some time and then in a temporary nursing home. My parents have been driving into the city to be with her. Every day for 4 months one or the other or both of them were driving into the city to see her. That means a 40 minute trip one way, every day, for 4 months. We have been blessed with an amazing winter and they didn't have to put up with winter driving, which was a huge blessing! This past Friday Gramma was finally moved to her brand new nursing home that is only 15 minutes from my parents' house and what happened on Saturday? It snowed and the temperatures plummeted and winter is now most definitely here! Some people may say it is just a coincidence but when it comes to God and His timing there is no such thing as coincidence! It was such a great reminder to me that God really does know what He is doing and even though it seems as though He is slow or that He has forgotten we need to remember that He knows exactly what is going on. He is orchestrating everything behind the scenes and we just need to continue to trust.


So as I wait (and some days the waiting is so hard it hurts) I will try to remember that God truly does know what He is doing and that He hasn't forgotten and that His timing is perfect. 


And as I wait I will choose to still believe...