Actively Waiting

As of today we are officially on the active waiting list with the adoption agency! We are at #49 but as far as we know 8 of those couples will be coming off the list soon. That doesn't mean we will be picked 49th because we really could be picked at any time. So now we "actively wait". Not sure how to do that. Such an oxymoron that is! I am finally starting to feel excited and like it is okay now to start to hope and dream and plan a little more. We have even started to discuss names and, even though I don't want to set up a whole nursery yet, I know I will be picking little things up here and there when I see good sales. It's a little different not knowing how long we are going to have to wait but I guess there is no harm in actually doing some prep right?! In the meantime "actively waiting" to me means praying and living and hoping and praying some more!


I am going to be a mommy! And my Chad is going to be the most amazing daddy that ever was!

Just Say "Thanks"

In my devotions this morning I was reading a little devotional on giving thanks. On how having someone say a meaningful "thank you" can help to brighten your day and make you feel appreciated. The devotional mentioned some verses in the Bible where it says to "give thanks" and how God loves to be thanked too and how He finds pleasure in our expressions of thanks and that it is in God's will that we thank Him. "In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1st Thessalonians 5:18. Of course it is easier at some times than at others to give thanks but we are told to give thanks in everything! That is much easier said than done but I think that as we learn to do it we will see that it encourages our hearts and reminds us always that God's timing and will are perfect.
I had two rather significant (to me anyways) things happen today that made it easy to say thanks. Oh, 3 actually. It was so beautiful when we went for a walk this morning. No need for a toque or gloves! I think spring may finally be here! The next thing that happened was finding out that I can get the supplements the naturopath wants us to take for much cheaper than we have gotten them. They aren't exactly the same but they are close enough and do the same things and I don't have to drive as far and they are cheaper. That was a huge thanks! The other one was hearing back from a lady at the adoption agency. I had sent her our profile/letter and asked her to read it and then let us know if it was alright and if we needed to add or subtract or change anything. She emailed me back this morning and this was her response, "I think your profile is just great as it is. Don't change a thing!". How encouraging to hear and exciting because we can now have it printed and then send it off! 
I loved how when I was thanking God for these things my heart was even more encouraged and it just really made God's love for me so much more real when I acknowledged His blessings and just said thanks.
Now I have to practice giving thanks in everything!
So remember that God loves to be thanked, He takes pleasure in it. Your own heart will be encouraged and God's love will be even more real to you.

Cold Today

It is cold and snowy with a wind this morning. I was going to take the puppy for a walk like I usually do but we had him shaved yesterday so he is already cold and I really didn't feel like walking in the wind. 
-20ish with the wind chill this morning. Oh how I long for spring and warmer weather and buds on the trees and flowers pushing their way up through the soil and being able to go for a walk with just a sweater instead of my winter jacket. But then I remind myself that I do live in northern Alberta. We could be getting snow off and on until May. So instead of just complaining I will be thankful that I have a warm home and comfy clothes and food to put in my tummy.


We should be on the "active list" with the adoption agency some time next week! That is exciting for us! We know that once we are on the list there is nothing else we can do except wait but at least we will know that really at any time the phone could ring and we could have wonderful news and our arms and hearts will finally be filled. In some ways it all still fills surreal and well, just, I don't know. It doesn't feel real to me in many ways and I think it's partially because so much of the contact I have had with the agency has been on the phone or through email. Almost feels like there is something else we should be doing but we are almost finished everything that was required of us. We are officially "Approved". We were even sent a certificate that says we are. So I guess we are doing things properly. Such a lesson in trust and faith and hope. After 3 years of trying to have a baby and being disappointed every month it is tough for me to get my hopes again. I think I keep waiting for everything to fall out from under us and yet I truly believe and feel in my heart that this is what God wants us to do and that He has a little one chosen just for us who needs us and who we need. So I continue to trust and to have faith and yes, even to hope.

Strict Regime

Today is the first day of a strict regime of supplements and diet and lots of exercise thrown in to help expedite things. Chad and I went to a fantastic naturopath on Friday. When I had called a month or so ago they said we couldn't get in until August but they would also put us on their waiting list although the likelihood of getting two back to back cancellations so we could go at the same time was slim to none. Last Wednesday I got a call from their office saying they'd had two cancellations for Friday morning and did we want them? Did we?! SO very thankful we got in. Chad actually wasn't too bad but there are definitely things that need to be taken care of. Me on the other hand, well, not so good, and if I'd had to wait until August I have no idea how sick I may have been. Nothing life threatening by any means but just lots in my blood that shouldn't be there and that is just making me feel ill as well as a liver that is stressed. So now we are both taking special supplements and really having to clamp down on what we eat. A very strict diet. It's not going to be easy but I know we will both feel so much better! For me I will probably feel worse before I feel better so this week could be interesting. I am willing to go through it though! We will be seeing the naturopath again in August and I am already excited to see the improvements!


On the adoption front.....our social worker is supposed to be coming over tonight to have us sign off on the last draft of our homestudy! Then it is sent to the agency where the director has to sign off on it and then we need to get our profile done. So close!

Whew!

First of all I must thank all of you who have been thinking of us and praying for us. I am a little overwhelmed by all the support so THANK YOU!


Our first visit with the social worker went so well! She is really nice. We were worried that she might not like dogs but she is a dog-lover, worried she might not have a sense of humor but she certainly does, worried that we just might not get along but we all did. Why do we worry?! Okay, I will admit that I am more the worrier than Chad is. I also tend to internalize all my worries and stress which isn't a good thing. Anyways, back to the visit. She was here for about an hour and a half and we just had an open and honest conversation with her and answered her questions. We had heard stories of how invasive the first visit can be and how no stone is left unturned and we were a little nervous about the unknown but it really was just fine. There were no questions that we were uncomfortable about answering, we didn't feel like we were being judged, none of that. So thank you for praying! We still need to see her a couple of more times but the tough visit is over.


Getting closer.....

Call #1 Finally Came!

Yesterday we received one of the phone calls that we have been waiting for. It was a call from a social worker to set up a time for our first home visit! It is the first of 2 or 3 visits and will be about 2 hours long. We set up a time for this coming Monday at 6:30pm. Not having been through this before we aren't completely sure what to expect but we have been told that you basically have no privacy left by the end of it all. Oh joy! It is amazing what you have to go through in order to become a parent through adoption. I sometimes think that other people who have babies should have to go through the same thing! It sure makes you think and discuss issues that most people don't before they start a family.


We have been told to not worry about cleaning our house from top to bottom. Those of you who know me will know that is a difficult thing for me as normally I would spend all day Monday cleaning! We were told that social workers would rather not see that the house has been cleaned from top to bottom just because they are coming over because then it isn't a true representation of what the house usually looks like. So I think on Saturday or Sunday I will do just my usual housework and then maybe Monday afternoon I will go wander around a bookstore for a while or something to get my mind off it all.


Your prayers in all of this will be so appreciated! I know it will go well but knowing there are many praying for us will help so much! It is exciting because it is a huge step in getting us closer to being on the waiting list.