"Minnie Minnie everywhere!"

She's two! So very hard to believe! This blog will be all Emma (with lots of photos) as I share with you her birthday week! She was so very excited as we kept telling her how many sleeps until her birthday and then how many sleeps until her party and she would ask us to sing Happy Birthday and we would go through the list of who would be coming to her party and she would talk about balloons and cake and blowing the candle out. So much excitement for a little one!

Her birthday was on June 10th. Chad was able to take the day off which we are hoping to make into an annual tradition so we can take the whole day and do something fun and maybe as Emma gets older it will work its way into a Daddy/daughter date day. She was so happy to have him home all day! We started the day by giving her a present (a dollhouse) which she loved and played with the rest of the day whenever she could. Then we took her to Discoveryland at Telus World of Science where she got to play in water and fly an airplane and walk on a piano and climb into a treehouse and all sorts of fun stuff. That was followed by lunch and a nap and then that night cake and more presents. Quite a full day and she loved every minute of it!

After that big exciting day we had a few days where I did lots of prep work for her party on Saturday. She absolutely loves Minnie Mouse and so the party theme this year was Minnie. So cute to hear her saying "Minnie Minnie everywhere!" She was so excited and was counting sleeps until her party. Thank goodness she went down easily for a nap that day and was happy and ready to go by the time people started coming. It turned out so well! The weather was perfect, the decorations turned out, lots of people came to show their love. Emma did so incredibly well. She was her usual sweet self and even (when prompted) stood up and signed and said "thank you" to everyone after she opened all her gifts. I was so proud of her and the way she carried herself and behaved and I loved watching her have fun and smile and laugh and give hugs and high fives and just be excited and so very happy.

Now that all of the birthday excitement is over we are settling in to enjoy the summer! Looking forward to long summer days spent playing outside. We also did some landscaping in the backyard (another blog with before and after photos coming!) and it feels like a backyard now and not just a square spot of grass. 

Hard to believe two years have come and gone since Emma came home. What a difference she has made in so many lives. I love to celebrate her!

Big Move!

I got in touch with the adoption agency this week for our monthly update. We are moving up the list in leaps and bounds! We are now number 47 with 4 couples on hold in front of us. Rather encouraging to hear! Our profile hasn't been out lately but that's okay. It will start to happen soon as we keep moving up.

I am starting to get into birthday party mode. A Minnie Mouse birthday for our little mouse! So hard to believe she is almost 2!

Growing up!

My little helper is growing up. Where she used to follow me around everywhere and have to do everything Mommy did now she gets bored with it and goes and plays with her toys. This is a fairly new thing for her and I will admit that I am appreciating it as it is easier and faster to get things done. It feels like she just all of a sudden grew up in the last few weeks and went from being a baby to being a kid. She is so much fun and has us laughing all the time at what she says and does and the things she comes up with. I love watching her independence grow and her confidence bloom. She is still an introvert and very quiet in groups but oh she is funny! She talks all day from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed. People who only see her once in a while don't believe us and are always surprised once she is comfortable around them and starts talking. It's fun having conversations with her and I am amazed every day at how quickly her vocabulary is growing. I do miss her being my little shadow all day long and love it when she comes running up to me to grab me around the leg just cause and to hear her say "hug" as she does it. She does it at the most spontaneous and random moments and I love it.

I have been talking to her quite a bit about her being adopted. I have made it into kind of a story that I tell her. She now tells me that she is adopted (even though she doesn't yet understand what that means) and that it is a "bootiful fing" which is what I tell her every time. I was telling her the other night how much I love her and that Jesus gave her to me and she looked at me and said "adopted". Her little brain never stops working and thinking and trying to figure things out. It's going to make homeschooling her interesting for sure!

Today while I was doing housework she kept herself busy in her playroom playing with some toys. Again, something fairly new as she usually would only play with her toys if we were playing with her or she would just get bored with them quickly. Her imagination is taking off now though and it's fun to watch her and listen to her when she doesn't know you are there. She decided to get her craft stuff out today while I was going up and down the stairs trying to get the house clean. I found her with her safety scissors, a glue stick and a magazine. So I got a piece of paper for her and she did her first craft all by herself. :)

I will be keeping this piece of artwork for sure!

To Lead a Quiet Life...

It's been a long time coming. I have thought about doing it so many times but something always changed my mind. Working with youth and wanting to stay in touch with them. Wanting to see photos of new babies or wedding photos or just being curious about where and how people are doing. Not wanting to feel like I was going to be "out of the loop" or becoming a total hermit. I am tired of excuses though and so in the last little while I have "unfriended" a whole bunch of people.

Facebook. I have nothing against it. I like the idea of it. Of staying in touch and getting back in touch. Of having glimpses into the lives of others and being part of groups where I may learn some things and accumulate some knowledge to be used in the future. I have seen great things happen on Facebook like people from all over the world joining together in prayer for a man who was in a fight for his life and being part of the miracle when those prayers were answered and he was able to go home healthier in some ways than before. I have laughed lots at the jokes and cute videos that go around. I have read some interesting health articles and found lots of great recipes and been able to share probably too many photos of our little blessing. I have cried and had my heart touched by some of the stories shared. The flip side to all of that though is getting bogged down and wrapped up in lives that I otherwise wouldn't know about. I have been thinking so much about it lately and just how easy it is for me to waste time reading about other people's lives and doings and busyness and heartaches and joys and frustrations and peeves and bad attitudes when I have my own life to be living.

There are a couple of verses that have always been a favourite of mine and I read through them again tonight. It pretty much sums all of this up better than any words I could say...

"...and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, so that you will behave properly towards outsiders and not be in any need."  
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

So for those of you that I was friends with on Facebook please don't be offended that I have "unfriended" you. It isn't you it's me and it's me wanting to live a quiet life attending to my own business and working with my hands and living my life and devoting my time and attention to my family and interests. I have kept all my immediate family as "friends" but that is it for now.

I am hoping to start blogging more again. I have missed writing and don't really have a reason why I haven't been doing it and you would think that giving up Facebook wouldn't make that big of a difference but 20 minutes here and there sure adds up!

It is quite surprising really how much better I have felt about life in the last week since making this decision. It is freeing in a way and I realized just how much time I have spent on there and how much I let things that I read on there affect me and the way I thought about people or situations. It is such a pretend reality. People thinking that they know others just because of what is posted. Anyways, I am done with it in the capacity that I was using it and am looking forward to writing more and not wasting so much time!

Here is the best reason of all to stop wasting my time!

Moving Up

It has been a long time since I posted! I had an update from the agency yesterday so thought I would pass the update on for those of you who may be wondering how things are going.

We are currently #51 on the list with 7 couples ahead of us on hold (either because they have been matched or because they have found out they are pregnant and are waiting to be sure the pregnancy is viable) one of which is in their 10 day waiting time. So if all of those couples come off the list we very quickly are bumped up into the 40s which would be great! It seems as though we have been moving up the list in leaps and bounds and the agency has done many adoptions this year already. That in itself is encouraging and I am choosing to dwell on that rather than the fact that we aren't even at the same spot on the list that we were at when we first went on it for Emma. God's timing is perfect!

I find myself more and more these days longing to hold my baby and at times feel a little impatient. I am so thankful for our Emma who fills my days and my heart and who is just so full of joy and so expressive and loving. She likes to pat me on the back at the most spontaneous of times like when I am standing next to the grocery cart while she is sitting in it. She will just start patting me with a smile on her face and I give her a hug and it is just the most precious little moment that we have. I have started telling her a little more often that she is adopted and how beautiful adoption is and how she is such a special gift to Mommy and Daddy and how God chose her just for us. We don't want it to be a big surprise to her one day and want it to just be a fact, a beautiful fact.

We started sign language classes a couple of weeks ago and are having fun with it! They are classes for parents who want to teach their children how to sign. We have been doing sign with Emma since she was very young and she already knows so very many signs and she picks up on them so quickly now! We just need more training ourselves so we can teach her. It will be wonderful for those times when we need to communicate across a crowded room or across a playground or just when we want to sign. I have always loved sign language and thought it was such a fascinating language. Apparently it is amazing for brain development in children as well.

I think winter might finally be over and I have to say I am so deeply thankful for that! It was a really long cold winter and we were all getting cabin fever and just needing to be outside. I am looking forward to eating meals outside on the deck and going for walks and green grass and flowers and starting a veggie garden for the first time and going to the zoo and having picnics and watching Emma discover her world even more. She stopped to watch a little bug yesterday and it is just too cute to watch her bend way over and just stand there watching and wondering. I keep reminding myself in those moments to not rush her but to just let her discover and enjoy. It's going to be a great summer!

Here are some photos of life with Emma...

Daddy and Emma have a Saturday morning tradition of oatmeal, cuddles and cartoons :)

We finally made a play area for Emma. It's not very big but has toys and crafts and books and music and she loves playing up there.

She loves to "help" me bake

So happy to be able to play outside! Yesterday I was blowing bubbles for her as she walked around with her hands out saying "catch them!". I am pretty sure the majority of our days this summer will be spent outside and I am looking forward to that!

Home Again

Our vacation has come and gone :( It was so incredibly good to get away and it was the most relaxing vacation Chad and I have ever taken. Usually when we travel we do lots of walking and hiking and sightseeing and we see lots but we are so tired. This time we did lots of nothing and it was wonderful. With Emma still needing afternoon naps we would go out in the mornings but then head back to the condo and just relax for the afternoon and there were even days that we just stayed at the condo. The weather was beautiful. There were some cloudy/rainy days but the other days were perfect temperature wise and the sun was shining. Kauai is so lush and green. It was so nice to spend time with my parents and good for Emma to have some quality time with them (need to plan something with her other grandparents now!) and she loved swimming and the ocean and birds and going for walks and seeing lots of chickens and a gecko and flying on "hairplanes" as she calls them. She did so well with her first time flying and really with the whole trip. It was so fun to show her the ocean and just to see her reactions to all of the new and different things she hasn't seen before.
We definitely are so glad that we went and it was really hard to come home. It would have been so good to stay longer! We came home at the right time though as it has finally warmed up here and is starting to feel like spring. Of course we could still get a big spring snowstorm but I think the worst of the cold is behind us and we can now look forward to spring and warmer weather!
On the adoption front - I checked in for an update before we left on our vacation and was told that we were 56th on the list with 5 couples on hold ahead of us so if they come off the list we are actually number 51. We have moved up so much since we first went on the list but we still have a long ways to go before our profile is shown more often. I have been feeling a little impatient lately, partly because I know so many people who are either expecting or who have recently added to their family, and am hoping that with the nicer weather and being busy with playing outside and just spending time with Emma that the time will go quickly.
Here are some photos from our vacation...

         

Much Needed Time Away

As I was getting ready for the day this morning I was thinking about how, even though it is only February, this year has already been so incredibly long! It seems like so much has happened and most of it hasn't been happy...

My Mom got very sick just before the new year while my parents were away on holidays and while she recovered from that she then came down with a really bad cold. For someone who rarely gets sick it was a tough stretch for her. Then we found out that Emma's birthmom had come down with a severe case of H1N1 and it affected her heart. There was some concern that she may have to have open heart surgery but they were able to treat her with IV antibiotics for many weeks and I am not even sure if she has been released yet. Shortly after hearing about her we found out that my brother and his whole family were also hit with H1N1 and while he and the kids recovered my sister-in-law (who is expecting) also had a severe case of it and they ended up moving in with her parents for many weeks because she was too sick to take care of herself let alone their 5 children. Next, Chad's Baba Sakaluk passed away. Baba had lived a good long life and in the last few years she no longer recognized family or knew who anyone was but that doesn't mean that saying goodbye was easy. It was nice to see all of the family but I think we are all looking forward to the family wedding this summer rather than being together at a funeral. Not so long after that a man that we knew through church and also as patients at his chiropractic practice passed away suddenly. He was a strong, healthy 40 year old who took care of himself and we were all in shock when we heard he'd had a massive heart attack. He left behind a young wife and 2 little ones, the youngest of which was only 1 week old when his Daddy passed away. What a heart-breaking time! While I didn't really have questions as to why God would take him at such a young age, because I know each of our days are numbered and God alone knows the number of our days, I did struggle with his family so suddenly being left without him and all that that really means. Thankfully his wife has a strong faith in the Lord and she is being carried through this by the prayers of so many people. Then in the last couple of weeks Chad's Dad got very sick and ended up in the hospital. It took the doctors quite a few days to figure out what was going on for sure but they did eventually and were able to start treatments so now he is on the road to recovery. This last week Emma has been quite sick and I have been worried about her. She has only been sick about 3 times but every time it seems to go to her chest. I am thankful that this time I was prepared with homeopathic medicine and essential oils and she is feeling so much better today.

See what I mean by it already being a long year? That's alot to happen in the last not even two months! The light at the end of the tunnel? We are going on a nice long vacation! We are leaving on Monday. Flying to Kauai! My parents are already there. We have been talking to Emma about it and how she gets to go on a plane and we are excited to show her the ocean and sand and just to be somewhere warm. Our winter has been really cold, colder than normal, too cold to spend time outside playing. It will be so very good to just walk out the door and play in grass and sand and enjoy the sun. Chad needs this trip. He has been stressed and tired and he just needs some time away. We are definitely looking forward to it!

I truly hope the rest of our year is filled with much health and happiness and good tidings!

Here is a little video for you of our Emma...

Adoption Update

I emailed the agency a couple of days ago to get an update on our status. I left it for two months this time instead of one hoping there might be more encouraging news. There was! We are now at number 60 but there are 8 couples ahead of us who are on hold so if none of them come back on the list we are really at number 52. Also, our profile went out in November! The birthmom chose another family but it was encouraging to hear that it had gone out. I will admit that my heart stopped for a split second with the reminder of how quickly things can happen and that we could get the call literally any day. Exciting and terrifying! I am so thankful that God is in charge of this and that His timing is always perfect. I so long for Emma to have a sibling and have been praying that God would prepare her heart for a little brother or sister.

In the meantime, while we wait, our days and hearts are filled with this little curly haired munchkin :)

Delight Full

I think God is pretty awesome. I love how He shows us things and reveals Himself and shows us our hearts but also how He is the one who created us and made us a certain way for a reason and how He keeps bringing us back to that if we let Him. I have been doing much soul searching and praying and reading in the last little while and, while I thought I was going to be heading in one direction with something I thought I had to deal with, God seems to be leading me in another. It is amazing to me how when you actually take the time to spend with God and have an open heart He begins to move and work and open your eyes. It makes my heart smile, even if the moving and working can at times be tough. Here is a taste of what I have been thinking about...

When I lived in BC I used to go for walks "out back" on the acreage we lived on to this beautiful mountain meadow. It would just be me and our Golden Lab and Jesus. I would pray out loud, more like talk as it always felt like Jesus was just walking by my side. Sometimes I might sing or just be silent and listen. I loved those times of solitude and it never failed that I would come back feeling refreshed and fed and watered. Then I moved to the big city. I knew that if I talked out loud to God as I walked down the streets people would think I was nuts and I certainly wasn't going to find a beautiful mountain meadow. I remember talking to my Mom about it one day and she told me to remember that the meadow isn't just a physical place, it is also inside me. That place where I meet and commune with God and where I will find peace and joy and that I can go there at any time. No, it may not be the same but God is the same. I have thought about that so many times over the years and I was thinking about it again this morning. I feel in some ways like God is bringing me back to that meadow. There is a reason why I had that physical meadow for so many years and I know it's because God knows that's what I needed. I am a person who craves solitude and who lives and performs best if I can have time to myself. Which obviously doesn't happen all that often now and so I enjoy it when and as I can. We were so involved with church and the life and schedule that went along with it the last few years that I never really had the solitude and I know it hindered me and hindered my walk. It's almost as if God is bringing me back to who He created me to be and reminding me that it's okay to need solitude, to meet with Him in the secret place, to live my life quietly and not feel like if I am not doing doing doing and super involved then I am somehow less or failing or not as much of a Christian. I am learning that the most important thing in my life right now is living by example for Emma's sake. If I am not being true to the person God created me to be how am I to teach her, instruct her, be an example to her? I want her to know God. I want her to run hard after Him and to feel free to sing and pray and dance as her heart leads her but if I am not doing the same then how will she learn? When I was little I used to lay in bed and sing and pray until my parents had to tell me to be quiet and go to sleep. I want Emma to feel free to do the same. I want God to be so real to her that He is another member of the family and not just some being that people talk about it. I love how when it's time to eat she reaches for our hands and says "pay" and how when I pray with her at night she says a resounding "aman" when I am done and how when I tell her in sign language that Jesus loves her she tries to sign "Jesus". Oh that her heart would be free to become the woman God is already calling and creating her to be. I am learning through being a Momma and I love that. I love how God creates us one way for a reason and I love being brought back to it and being reminded of it and being assured that because He created and is creating and changing it is a good thing.

There is a verse that is thrown around alot in the Christian world. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." It is so often used as a verse to claim what we want and desire. That if we just delight in God He will give us what we want. How many times when I was single did I hear and think that if I just delighted in God He would bring my husband and how many times was I disappointed? I have often taught young women that as we delight in the Lord our desires begin to line up with His will for our lives. I heard it explained so much better recently though and it has really stuck with me. To paraphrase the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give/instill/create the desires of your heart." Meaning that as we delight in Him, spend time with Him, surrender to Him, our desires don't just begin to line up with His will for our lives but our desires are actually ones that He has created and placed in our hearts, effectively becoming what He desires for us. I know many of you may have already figured that out but I think God reveals things to us as we need to know them and this was something that I needed to hear when I did and to understand to the depth that I did. It isn't just that if I delight in God He will give me what I want or that what I want lines up with His will. It's that as I delight in Him He changes my desires so that they become what He wants. He creates the desires and places them in my heart. In a way it gave me a lot of peace and helped me to kind of let go in some ways. It's nice to know that all I have to do is delight in Him, spend time with Him and He will take care of the rest, including my desires.

I am looking forward to 2014. Looking back on this last year I can't say that it was full of anything exciting or awful or that I am happy or sad to see it end. There were lots of good things, some bad things, happy, sad, exciting, routine. We enjoyed a good year with Emma and watching her grow and change and develop. We both found some answers to some health issues we are having which is always good. I guess I just feel indifferent about this past year. It was just a year. I am curious to see what 2014 has for us though. I have a quiet anticipation and excitement in my heart. I feel like God has something in store for us and be it little or be it big I don't want to miss it. I want to continue on delighting and reading and praying and living and allowing God to work and move so that as He does I can be a living witness and example, even if it's just to my little girl..

May God continue the work He has started. May I over and over again find that meadow, that place of communing with God in quiet as my heart needs.

May 2014 be delight FULL.

One and a Half!

I realized tonight that while I had posted some photos and such for Emma's 18 month birthday I forgot that some of you don't have Facebook and so wouldn't see them. Thought I would do a quick blog and include a few photos.

It is so hard to believe that Emma is 18 months old already! The time has gone by so quickly and we have been enjoying every stage. She is talking so much more now and copying us so much more (not always a good thing!) and trying to be independent but at times is scared of that independence. We are slowly introducing the potty and will be getting more serious about it after the holidays. She loves to sit on it and we must do a good "yay" and clap our hands when she is done. :) It does my heart good to see how strong and healthy she is and it encourages me to keep up with the good healthy food and to make sure she gets the naps and sleep she so needs.

I love that I can see so much of Chad and I in Emma. You know, the majority of the time I forget that she is adopted. It is like God was so in control and had everything so planned that it feels like she actually came from us. She is stubborn like we are (which makes for some good head to heads!) and she loves to help (like her two middle children parents just automatically do) and I can see her mirroring me at times (scary!) and I just see how God created her just for us. I am so blessed to know her and to watch her little personality develop and flourish and bloom. She is a very funny little girl and I love to get her laughing until she can't breathe, which is when she then says "all done"!

Here are some photos of our Emma who is much less a baby and much more a little girl every day. She is starting to love to dress up and have her hair done and wear dresses and after I get her ready for the day she loves to run out to her Dada and show him her hair and have him tell her how beautiful she is. She truly is. Inside and out and it is the inside especially that I am loving more and more. I am truly realizing every day how big a job being a Momma is as I influence and love and train up this little girl to one day be a woman of God who loves and helps and shows kindness to others.

Helping Momma with the housework. One of her favourite words is "help"!

 Helping again. This time helping make breakfast on a Sunday morning.

 Being goofy!

 Pretty in pink!

She loves to wear headbands or hats. Never used to but does now.

Her hair is getting so long!

 Hanging out with Momma in the kitchen drinking a smoothie. We do this quite often.

 Funny faces!

 Dress up time!

 Love those pigtails!

 This photo melts my heart. Emma absolutely adores her Dada. I love to hear her call him or say Dada. It almost sounds like she is British when she says it and her little voice is so cute. I love watching them together and am so thankful that she will always have a Daddy to turn to who is strong and confident and yet so gentle and loving. The boys in her future will have a lot to live up to!

What's In a Name?

I have been thinking a little bit lately about how the day we brought Emma home didn't go exactly as I had planned. Before we even knew she was going to be a girl, before we knew she was coming, right back when we decided to try starting a family I had a scenario that would play out in my mind.

I always knew that if I had a little girl her middle name would be Marlane. Partly because it is my middle name but mostly because it is the first name of the most precious woman in my life. I had a little speech all planned that I was going to make to build up to what her middle name was. What happened the day she came home? Well, my parents were waiting for us (with pizza because we hadn't really eaten all day!) and so we all came in the house and I took Emma out of her carseat and handed her to my Mom and simply said "Her name is Emma Marlane". Of course there were tears and all of that but I have regretted not being able to give my little speech. I had thought of writing it all in a nice card and sending it to my Mom but I decided this morning that I would blog about it so that everyone can know just why Emma's middle name is Marlane.

My speech would have gone something like this - "Her first name is Emma. I have always loved that name, it is my great-grandma's name and also the birthmom's middle name. For her middle name we named her after a woman of much strength, grace and beauty who loves and gives of herself willingly and selflessly and whom I am profoundly grateful to call my Mom. Marlane, a perfect middle name for a gift from God."

Since I am writing all of this though and can express myself so much more freely through the written word I want to expand on all of that and today I want to celebrate my Mom. Not for any special reason except that she is my Mom.

Many of you reading this know my Mom's story. For those of you who don't I would encourage you to sit down with her one day and over a big bowl of popcorn and a cup of chamomile tea listen to her story and to her heart. It is a story of broken lives and hearts, a story of mistakes and second chances, a story of persevering and holding fast and learning to lean on the Everlasting arms, a story of not having roots or a heritage and finally discovering all of those. My Mom is very humble and I know as she reads this she will be thinking of her faults and this and that which she doesn't like about herself and all of those things that so many of us think about ourselves because all we see is what is inside and the things that need to change and the things we don't like. I'm not going to say she is perfect because I know she isn't. However, it is knowing that and watching her rise above what life throws her way in spite of all of that and learning from her mistakes and seeing her learn and grow and change that makes me love her even more. I am so incredibly blessed to be very close to my Mom and so desire in my heart to have the same relationship with Emma. It is also my desire to see Emma be close to my Mom as I was so close to my Gramma Petty.

My Mom has endured much hurt and misunderstanding and ridicule and, though she never speaks of it, I know her heart hurts often and yet she continues on. Today I want to thank her. Thank her for teaching me what it is to love, to stand by your children and let them make mistakes and being there for them when they need you and realize they messed up. For always, always, always being there for me and understanding my heart many times before I even have to say a word. For praying for me and supporting me and putting up with me. For praying for Chad before she even knew him and now loving him as a son. For praying for Emma and loving Emma and for the fact that as Emma gets older if she has questions that I don't know how to answer about her birthmom I know she will have someone to go to who understands a little better than I do. For not being perfect and letting me see that. For homeschooling me and teaching me about Jesus. For being the best Mom I could ever need or want and for always being my friend while being my Mom first. Even at 40 years old there are still so many times when I just need my Mom. I see my Mom more and more when I look in the mirror. I have always been such a combination of my parents in both looks and personality. The older I get though the more I see my Mom and hear my Mom. I am okay with that.

And so, all of that being said, Emma Marlane is named after a woman that I cherish and am proud of and love so very much. A woman full of grace and love. A woman whom I hope Emma looks up to and learns from and is able to spend much time with. We all have a lot to learn from my Mom. There is a depth to her and her heart that few people have the privilege of seeing or haven't taken the time to learn from. I would encourage you to do both. I was once told something about myself that I think I need to pass on to my Mom.

"There is a lot of gold in there. You need to let it out."

Love you Mom. So very proud to be your daughter.

Kicking it Cold Turkey

This has been a big week in the life of a little girl! It started on Monday when I talked to her about how it was going to be her last day having a bottle and that the next day she was going to start drinking her milk out of a big girl cup. She hasn't been having lots of bottles a day but she was having them at significant times, before naps and bedtimes. It was how she would relax. I talked with her a few times on the Monday and every time she would look a little uncertain when I told her it was her last day with bottles but then she would get excited when I would tell her she would be drinking her milk out of a big girl cup.

On Tuesday we washed her bottles and then we packed them up into a plastic bag. While we were doing that I was telling her again why we were doing it but this time she shook her head "no" the whole time. It was so cute but it almost broke my heart. Her depth of understanding astounds me. Not just with this but with so much that we talk about with her. She really listens and responds and more than once she has astonished us with what she has done or how she has reacted. After we packed the bottles up we took them out to the garage and say bye-bye to them and put them in the garbage can. We have been very careful to not mention the word "bottle" around her since then.

Overall she has done amazingly well! A number of times she has gone to sleep with no fuss whatsoever. There have been a few times where there have been some tears and she has signed "milk" and asked for it. I tend to just ignore that and get her attention off of it somehow. She is still drinking milk when she gets up, although her interest in milk seems to be waning which I am totally fine with.

I am so incredibly proud of Emma! It has been a tough week with a huge change but she is still her smiling sweet self. Perhaps a little more clingy and her "lovies" (a stuffed giraffe and a stuffed elephant) have definitely become more of a take everywhere kind of thing but that is so okay. She has handled this so well and I just keep telling her how proud I am of her. The first night I talked and cuddled her through the little bit before bed and just kept telling her how much I love her and how proud I am of her and she kept giving me little hugs and kisses and at one point signed "I love you" to me. Precious moments for sure. Of course I have also been in tears as I watch her grow up much too quickly and burst with pride in the little girl that she is!

Next step, the soother. She only has it when she sleeps and I am not in a rush to get rid of it as she needs to fully get used to not having a bottle. All in good time.

Here is our precious, brave, beautiful little girl...