Seasons

I love fall. I love the leaves turning color and the crisp air and sweaters and tea and just everything about it. I could never live in a country that doesn't have seasons. Yes, there are many days during the winter here in Northern Alberta where I could do without the cold and snow but I also know that I would miss it. I love anticipating the changing of the seasons and wondering what each new season will hold and seeing the birds come and go and the flowers grow and bloom only to tuck away again for the winter. I love new life in spring and lush green in summer. I love waking up to a snow covered wonderland when it is so quiet you can almost hear the snow falling. I love that in our lives there are seasons and change and that God is with us through each season and preparing us for each change.

I feel like we are entering a new season in our family. We are waiting for our next child, learning to be parents and watching in amazement as Emma grows from a baby to a toddler, knowing that in just a few years we will getting ready to start school with her (I am excited about that!) and making decisions as to which homeschool association to register with and which books to use. She and I are getting ready to settle into a routine this fall filled with music lessons and swimming lessons and hopefully some story times at the library. Not to mention just every day life stuff as she is my little shadow and helper and loves to learn what Momma is doing and why and how she can help. She is talking more with both voice and sign and I am quickly losing sight of the baby in her but loving this stage of her life.

We are also entering a new and different season as we are no longer attending the church we went to for almost 3 years. We are not currently attending anywhere and I am not sure when or where we will be, at least for a while. I find myself in a season that I haven't been in for a while. A season of being quiet and wanting it to be that way and waiting and listening. After 3 years of giving and feeding others without really being fed in return I find myself craving quiet and wanting to read more and listen to worship music. I find myself feeling better about my relatonship with God than I have for a while and feeling more at peace. It's a good place to be and yet one that I know many people would disagree with and I have already had the "forsake not the assembling of yourselves" verse quoted to me. I think sometimes people can take that verse and use it to judge others or try to guilt others or try encourage others in a direction that maybe isn't needed right now. Does that verse always mean "church" or can it mean having good fellowship with one other person and talking about God and encouraging each other? Can it be sitting as a family and reading Bible stories or having a conversation on the phone with someone you have never even met yet and discovering you have a similar desire in how you want to worship and learn about God? Anyone can go to church but does that mean they are "assembling"? I could go to church but be stagnant in my walk with God and never really give of myself and no one would never know. I crave fellowship. I crave sitting and having a good conversation about who God is and what He has done and what we have learned and are learning and challenging each other and encouraging each other. That is the assembling that I long for and am hoping to find. We will probably at some point end up back at a church but we don't want it to be because that's what everyone expects or thinks we should do and we don't want it to be because of the programs the church does or doesn't have or the social groups that the church does or doesn't have. We want it to be because we know that's where God wants us and needs us.

I have had some old songs come to mind recently. I find that the newer praise and worship songs sing so much about what God can do for us instead of what we need to do or the reverence that is due Him. I have been enjoying the songs that have been coming back into my heart and thought I would share two of them. The first one has had me in tears a little bit as I think about what it really means and how I long for what the words say...

"Awaken my heart to love and adore you Oh my Lord
Awaken my heart to bow down before you oh my Lord
Awaken my heart to know Your love and to love You in return
Freely flowing from an awakened heart."

And this one...

"Let all those that seek Thee rejoice and be glad in Thee, in Thee oh Lord
And let such as love Thy salvation say continually, continually.
Let God be magnified, let God be magnified, let God be maginified
Let God be magnified, let God be magnified, let God be magnified!"

I don't know that this next season of our life holds. All I know is that I have a feeling of anticipation for what God is going to do and I am so thankful that He is with us all the way and that as we hold fast He leads and guides and renews and brings life and sets us free. May our hearts be open for what this next season holds and may we never forget who the Creator of those seasons is.