Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Piano Therapy

I played the piano this afternoon for the first time in quite a while. I love playing my piano (even though it badly needs to be tuned!) but there are times when it is much harder for me than others. My Mom knows better than anyone that playing my piano is like a kind of therapy for me. When I am going through a tough time it helps to get lost in playing praise and worship songs. There are times though when what I am going through makes it much too hard for me play because the hurt is just too deep or the tears are too near the surface. Today I just had the sudden urge to play and so I did and I so enjoyed it.


I am not the kind of player who can play in front of others and definitely not in church. I think at times that the gift I have of being able to play was given to me as a blessing for my Mom. She used to go lay down in her bedroom and I would play for an hour or so while she rested. It took me a while to realize that's what she did but once I did it made me feel good to play for her. I think of her every time I play and I miss playing for her. Chad hasn't heard me play many times but the last time he did he and Finlay just sat on the loveseat and let the music relax them. So I guess my gift can be used to bless him too.


I used to sit, when no one was home, and just play whatever my fingers felt like playing. There was nothing quite like sitting at the piano in the living room in our house in the country, with sun streaming in the windows and the birds singing outside, and knowing that the only One hearing me was God and it was at times like that when everything that was in my heart came out through my fingers. It wasn't something I could write down and it never sounded the same but it was like a way of praising God that just flowed from my heart. As I said, a type of therapy for me.


Today I played from some of my old songbooks. The ones with the good old praise and worship songs. You know, I really do like so many of the new songs that have come out and there are some writers who are so anointed, but there is just something about those old songs. Part of it is memories and sentiments but so much of it is their simplicity and yet their depth of feeling and meaning. I wish at times that we would sing some of the old songs. Here are a couple that touched me today...


I just want to praise You
Lift my hands and say "I love You"
You are everything to me
And I exalt Your holy name
I exalt Your holy name
I exalt Your holy name on high.


And....


One thing is needful, oh my Father
One thing is needful, oh my Lord
That I sit at Your feet and pour out my love
This thing is needful, oh my Lord.


There are so many more, so many that say it so simply and yet are so true. 


I am thankful for my piano, thankful for the lessons my parents let me take, thankful that it is a gift I can use to bless the people I love and so thankful that God speaks to me and brings healing and life and joy when I sit and play and listen.