8 Months and Counting

I emailed the adoption agency last week for an update on our status. In the last month we moved up to two more spots! We are now at #34 on the list. It is encouraging that we have moved a little but I will admit that the waiting is getting harder. There are so many days when it just feels like it is never going to happen and I have to remind myself that God knows what is going on and He knows best. I find myself more and more waiting for the phone to ring, looking to see if there are messages, hoping that we will hear something soon. For the first quite a few months I hardly even thought about the phone ringing or thinking it might be the agency when it did. I am not sure when that changed but I now find myself hoping the caller ID will show the agency number or that my cell phone will ring while I am at work. It's been a little harder lately for me to be positive about it but I am trying. 


I have gotten a new job and have been so very busy in the last month which is actually really good for me when it comes to all of this. I can't think about it as much or sit and feel sorry for myself. Instead my days are full and lately my evenings have been as well with church activities. I am so thankful for all of that. Not just thankful for the busyness but also thankful for the little community that is forming and that we are part of. It helps so much to have support even if it is mostly through prayer. It is so true that unless someone has been through the infertility/adoption experience they can't fully understand our hearts in it all but that doesn't mean that they can't still pray for us and just be there. The kids in the youth group want an update every so often and they are all so excited. We are excited that we will have a houseful of babysitters. :)


So yes, we have moved up the list. No, there is no other news. Yes, it is tough and I can't think about it too much or I just get all teary. Yes, I know God is good and He has a plan and His timing is perfect and to that I will and must cling. I am blessed beyond belief in the life I already have and I am more and more thankful every day that God's grace is truly sufficient and that in Him I can trust.


Please though, keep praying. Not just for our baby and that it will happen soon but also for Chad and I as our hearts long to love our baby and our arms ache to hold our baby and as we dream and hope and at times cry and get frustrated and feel discouraged. I keep thinking that it will be like it was when Chad and I finally got together....the waiting is so hard and feels like it is taking forever but when it finally happens the waiting will feel like it was a blink of an eye and we will be willing to do it again because it is so worth it.