Creating a Profile

We are now in the phase of the adoption process that involves us having to make a profile of ourselves. It is called a "Dear Birthparent Letter" and includes a letter or short summary of our growing up years and how we met and what our lives are like now and how involved we are with family and it also includes pictures. I have done a rough copy of my part of it and the main part and Chad has his part to do still. It's not easy. What do you say to a girl who could potentially be choosing you to be the parents of the child she is carrying? My heart breaks when I think of the grief she will have to go through in order for us to become parents. In this letter we aren't supposed to sound desperate or squeaky clean or so perfect we are boring. I found some examples online and used one as a general guideline. I was surprised at some things that I put in the letter. Is she going to care that I fed chickadees out of my hand? What she will think when she knows I was homeschooled? Did she go to camp when she was younger and have a counsellor like me?


We were told at the seminar we went to that they are never able to predict what makes a birthmom choose the couple she chooses. They said it could be something as simple as the fact that Chad and I both wear glasses or something as significant as the fact that we are both very close to our families and spend alot of time with them and so the baby will be surrounded by love on all sides. And so I just let me fingers and my heart do the talking. Keep it short but informative, realistic but fun, hopeful and not desperate. We were told to not even infer that we want to be chosen and I honestly could never do that. I could never put something in the letter that says 'pick me! pick me!'. Just knowing that this girl is going to experience pain and grief like she may never have before and hopefully never will again. I want to be chosen not because we asked her to choose but because when she sees our photos and reads our stories in her heart of hearts she just knows we are the ones. Perhaps in the knowing she will be able to find some comfort. Just knowing that her baby will be safe and loved and given the best life we can possibly provide. Just knowing that we have a faith in God and that we will be praying for her. Just knowing that the baby will be loved and spoiled by so many people. Just knowing.


And so we will continue working on our profile. Trusting that God will guide our thoughts and even our choosing of the photos that we include. Trusting that what we put in there will be exactly what the birthmom is looking and that we will all just know it's right and that it was meant to be.