I always knew that if I had a little girl her middle name would be Marlane. Partly because it is my middle name but mostly because it is the first name of the most precious woman in my life. I had a little speech all planned that I was going to make to build up to what her middle name was. What happened the day she came home? Well, my parents were waiting for us (with pizza because we hadn't really eaten all day!) and so we all came in the house and I took Emma out of her carseat and handed her to my Mom and simply said "Her name is Emma Marlane". Of course there were tears and all of that but I have regretted not being able to give my little speech. I had thought of writing it all in a nice card and sending it to my Mom but I decided this morning that I would blog about it so that everyone can know just why Emma's middle name is Marlane.
My speech would have gone something like this - "Her first name is Emma. I have always loved that name, it is my great-grandma's name and also the birthmom's middle name. For her middle name we named her after a woman of much strength, grace and beauty who loves and gives of herself willingly and selflessly and whom I am profoundly grateful to call my Mom. Marlane, a perfect middle name for a gift from God."
Since I am writing all of this though and can express myself so much more freely through the written word I want to expand on all of that and today I want to celebrate my Mom. Not for any special reason except that she is my Mom.
Many of you reading this know my Mom's story. For those of you who don't I would encourage you to sit down with her one day and over a big bowl of popcorn and a cup of chamomile tea listen to her story and to her heart. It is a story of broken lives and hearts, a story of mistakes and second chances, a story of persevering and holding fast and learning to lean on the Everlasting arms, a story of not having roots or a heritage and finally discovering all of those. My Mom is very humble and I know as she reads this she will be thinking of her faults and this and that which she doesn't like about herself and all of those things that so many of us think about ourselves because all we see is what is inside and the things that need to change and the things we don't like. I'm not going to say she is perfect because I know she isn't. However, it is knowing that and watching her rise above what life throws her way in spite of all of that and learning from her mistakes and seeing her learn and grow and change that makes me love her even more. I am so incredibly blessed to be very close to my Mom and so desire in my heart to have the same relationship with Emma. It is also my desire to see Emma be close to my Mom as I was so close to my Gramma Petty.
My Mom has endured much hurt and misunderstanding and ridicule and, though she never speaks of it, I know her heart hurts often and yet she continues on. Today I want to thank her. Thank her for teaching me what it is to love, to stand by your children and let them make mistakes and being there for them when they need you and realize they messed up. For always, always, always being there for me and understanding my heart many times before I even have to say a word. For praying for me and supporting me and putting up with me. For praying for Chad before she even knew him and now loving him as a son. For praying for Emma and loving Emma and for the fact that as Emma gets older if she has questions that I don't know how to answer about her birthmom I know she will have someone to go to who understands a little better than I do. For not being perfect and letting me see that. For homeschooling me and teaching me about Jesus. For being the best Mom I could ever need or want and for always being my friend while being my Mom first. Even at 40 years old there are still so many times when I just need my Mom. I see my Mom more and more when I look in the mirror. I have always been such a combination of my parents in both looks and personality. The older I get though the more I see my Mom and hear my Mom. I am okay with that.
And so, all of that being said, Emma Marlane is named after a woman that I cherish and am proud of and love so very much. A woman full of grace and love. A woman whom I hope Emma looks up to and learns from and is able to spend much time with. We all have a lot to learn from my Mom. There is a depth to her and her heart that few people have the privilege of seeing or haven't taken the time to learn from. I would encourage you to do both. I was once told something about myself that I think I need to pass on to my Mom.
"There is a lot of gold in there. You need to let it out."
Love you Mom. So very proud to be your daughter.
1 comment:
Such beautiful women in your family!
Post a Comment